Thank you for visiting my website and listening to what I have to say. I am deeply inspired by individuals who have the courage to take their relationship to the next level or take on saving their marriage and increase their level of consciousness.
My name is Sylvia Stauffer, Relationship and Leadership Coach, and the founder of www.SylviaStauffer.com, claimLOVE.com and The Art of FEMININE COMMUNICATION.
I teach and coach women and men alike, the magical and life changing skills to create lasting love, intimacy and connection with your partner. My coaching process is the pathway to authentically getting what you need and want in your marriage, feeling treasured and appreciated. Yes, I save marriages!
How I learned the hard way..
Born and raised in Switzerland, at age 23, I married the love of my life, and together we created an amazing life in South America, and then in Westchester, New York, where we raised our 3 precious sons.
Together, my husband and I had created a small family business with 25 employees, a business that flourished and had each one of us excel and apply our talents and passions. Peacefully and effectively we worked in harmony and enjoyed what we were doing.
One day, I still remember so clearly, I was sitting in our beautiful living room in our home in the country. I was feeling sad, trapped and frustrated, even though I had everything I ever wanted.
Something was missing!
Intensive personal therapy, couple’s therapy and workshops during the last few years of our marriage did not shift my feelings about our relationship. Specifically, therapy did not help me understand the source of my breakdown. Our differences escalated while in therapy. My husband was sad and shocked.
Just 2 years later, at the height of my career, the height of my life, just as our sons were leaving home, I left my marriage of 33 years, frustrated and exhausted from the chaos. At the end I blamed my husband for the breakdown.
Little did I know that we were simply lacking the skills and the wisdom of creating and maintaining a lasting committed relationship. There was nothing wrong with him nor with me.
Our marriage was based on old patterns that were passed down by family and society that no longer work today.
I left a good man, and a committed and caring husband. I was being a good wife, giving and contributing to the family at all cost late into the night. Self-care and self-love was at the end of my to do list. Really, I was being super woman, a perfectionist doing it all. Unnoticed I drifted into resignation, a burnout, and collapsed under the burden, feeling unheard and unsupported. Unheard also by professional help, I left my marriage.
It was not until I completed my training as a leadership coach a few years later that I had this big AHA moment, and that was the beginning of my new career–relationship coaching.
Self-awareness, self-care and self-love is a must to show up in this world as a contributor and leader; it is not a luxury. Only when you are rested, fulfilled and totally satisfied can you give to others, to your husband and your family. In a state of stress and exhaustion, in a state of helplessness or frustration you cannot give. In fact you now may be resigned and tired, and excuses and complaints are the result.
In my case, I could no longer see the deep commitment and the deep love he had for me. He was more committed than ever and did not want me to leave. However, my vision was blurred and fogged being right. I used the small stuff, to make him wrong. In that moment I was missing the compassion to see what a 'husband' really needs and wants. His commitment and hard work went unacknowledged.
Life is good now...
Ten years of deep inner work on top of my professional development as a leadership and relationship success coach helped me create peace with my former husband. He remarried and is happy. The new relationship skills, the profound and indispensable communication and self-awareness skills, gave me access to clarity, peace and freedom around the past, which is an absolute must bevor building your new life.
Naturally and without effort, new love showed up in my life. When you let go of resentment and grudges, when you have created clarity around the breakdowns of the past, and completed the deep self-awareness work needed to achieve this freedom, your honey will show up.
Today, my new life is completely different, equally exciting, uplifting and fulfilling. I met an extraordinary man and together we have created an exciting life in the Colorado Mountains. He is my hero, my mountain guide, my personal piano performer, my ski buddy, my cheerleader, and my number one chef in the kitchen. He is our social life planner and keeps himself busy writing about American politics. I love his mind, his thinking, his authentic and compassionate personality. Life is balanced, rich and full.
No regrets. I look back and acknowledge the wonderful things my former husband taught me, such as a vast understanding of finance and business, the love for the mountains, skiing and high altitude hiking. Our three sons are happily married and we do have 3 grandchildren.
Today, together with my beloved, I have created my new life in the Mountains of Colorado, where I enjoy a most satisfying and fulfilling life. My three adult sons are all happily married. I have learned the importance of balancing my life, enjoying my relationship, my family, outdoor adventures, music, art, travel, hobbies, and my career as a coach. I am totally fulfilled, happy and living the life of my dreams.