Thank you for visiting my website and listening to what I have to say. I am deeply inspired by women who have the courage to take their relationship to the next level or take on saving their marriage and increase their level of consciousness.
My name is Sylvia Stauffer, Relationship Success Coach and the founder of Coaching WOMEN to Thrive, claimLOVE.com and The Art of FEMININE COMMUNICATION.
I teach and coach women like you the magical and life changing skills to create lasting love, intimacy and connection with your man. The Art of Feminine Communication is the pathway to authentically getting what you need and want in your marriage, feeling treasured and appreciated. Yes, I save marriages!
How I learned the hard way...
I married the love of my life at age 23, and together we lived a full and exciting life; for many years we worked and lived in South America, and then in Westchester, New York, where we raised our 3 amazing sons.
Together we had created a small family business, a business that flourished and had each one of us excel and apply our talents and passions. Peacefully and effectively we worked in harmony and enjoyed what we were doing.
One day, I still remember so clearly, I was sitting in our beautiful living room in our home in the country. The scent of my favorite flowers filled the room, the red peonies from our garden. I was feeling sad, trapped and frustrated, even though I had everything I ever wanted.
Something was missing!
Intensive personal therapy, couple’s therapy and workshops during the last few years of our marriage did not shift our relationship. Specifically, therapy did not help me understand the source of my breakdown. Our differences escalated while in therapy.
Just 2 years later, at the height of my career, the height of my life, just as our sons were leaving home, I left my marriage of 33 years, frustrated and exhausted from the chaos. At the end I blamed my husband for the breakdown.
Little did I know then that we were simply lacking the skills and the wisdom of creating and maintaining a lasting committed relationship. There was nothing wrong with him nor with me.
Our marriage was based on old patterns that were passed down by family and society that no longer work today.
I left a good, committed and caring husband, a good man. I was being a good wife, giving and contributing to the family at all cost late into the night. Self-care and self-love was at the end of my to do list. Really I was being super woman, a perfectionist doing it all. Unnoticed I drifted into resignation, a burnout, and collapsed under the burden, feeling unheard and unsupported. Unheard by professional help, I left my marriage.
It was not until I completed my training as a leadership coach a few years later that I had this big AHA moment, and that was the beginning of my new career.
Self-awareness, self-care and self-love is a must to show up in this world as a contributor and leader; it is not a luxury. Only when you are rested, fulfilled and totally satisfied can you give to others, to your husband and your family. In a state of stress and exhaustion, in a state of helplessness or frustration you cannot give. In fact you now may be resigned and tired, and excuses and complaints are the result.
In my case, I could no longer see the deep commitment and the deep love he had for me. He was more committed than ever and did not want me to leave. However, my vision was blurred and fogged being right. I used the small stuff, to make him wrong. In that moment I was missing the compassion to see what a 'husband' really needs and wants. His commitment and hard work went unacknowledged.
Life is good now...
Seven years of deep inner work on top of my professional development as a leadership and relationship success coach helped me create peace with my former husband. He remarried and is happy. The new relationship skills, the profound and indispensable communication and self-awareness skills, gave me access to clarity, peace and freedom around the past, which is an absolute must bevor building your new life.
Naturally and without effort, new love showed up in my life. When you let go of resentment and grudges, when you have created clarity around the breakdowns of the past, and completed the deep self-awareness work needed to achieve this freedom, your honey will show up.
My new life is completely different, equally exciting, uplifting and fulfilling. My new man, my love and life partner is an extraordinary man. Together we have created an exciting and full life in the Colorado Mountains. He is my hero, my admirer, my mountain guide, my personal piano performer, my ski buddy, my cheerleader, and my number one chef in the kitchen. He is our social life planner and keeps himself busy writing about American politics. I love his mind, his thinking, his authentic and compassionate personality. Life is balanced, rich and full.
No regrets. I look back and acknowledge the wonderful things my former husband taught me, such as a vast understanding of finance and business, the love for the mountains, skiing and high altitude hiking. Acknowledging what was good helps me express gratitude for the past and appreciate the talents and the gifts my sons have inherited from him. Together we celebrated the weddings of our sons, and the birth of our precious grandson.
Here is what I uncovered for my clients and myself –
The most common reasons for relationship failures are; we do not KNOW what we need; we do not SAY what we need; and we do not know HOW TO SAY what we need.
The result is conflict, resentment and anger. In my experience, good marriages and relationships fall apart for that very reason.
Women are silently suffering and may not know why. Women are silently complaining, thinking that their man does not understand or not care. Other women express their needs but in a tone that expresses anger and deepens the pain. That is the beginning of conflict.
Women are leaving because they are lonely, frustrated, upset, and feel unheard, stuck and unappreciated. Unresolved and unspoken conflict is often the reason.
Here is the thing, if we are not expanding, learning and shifting, we are drifting, in fact we are drifting apart. What is unsaid becomes unbearable over time and we collapse under the burden. Burnout or divorce is inevitable.
My marriage, and the profound lessons I learned during my transformative and intensive years of training as a coach, along with the many years of coaching women after that, prepared me to be the relationship expert I am today.
Today, I am a relentless trainer and coach; I coach, educate and inspire women to be the leader, to use The Art of Feminine Communication to manifest love, passion and peace in their marriage. Women learn to practice self-care and self-love, and they learn to communicate for results.
My methodology is easy, efficient and effective.
It takes a coach to speak to your reality, to shake up old patterns and help you uncover what you cannot see. A coach invites you to learn new relationship and communication skills to transform your marriage.
It is never too late to save your marriage, even if he checked out. Give your marriage a chance!
I was born and raised in Switzerland, and I love the mountains. Together with my beloved, I have created my new life in the Colorado Mountains, where I enjoy a most satisfying and fulfilling life. My three adult sons are all happily married and creating their own families. I have learned the importance of balancing my life, enjoying my relationship, my family, outdoor adventures, music, art, travel, hobbies, and my career as a coach. I am totally fulfilled, happy and living the life of my dreams.
I want this for you too!